It’s an understatement

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We’ve had a lot of different responses from people when we tell them we are moving to Sierra Leone.

We’ve had people who put us on a pedestal thinking we are something that they are not. Let me help you take us down from there….We Orranges are a messed up and sinful lot. We are selfish, we are untrusting, we fight, we lack patience and we don’t go to the source of Life when we are empty instead we yell, we hurt each other, we call our friends and complain. We are learning but we have not arrived. A pedestal is not a safe place for us.

People who envy us.

I understand these people.  Their struggle with the years of waiting, wondering and asking when? where? what? (ahem: now, sierra leone, come visit us)

People who say that it’s right for us. Who instantaneously get that this is what we are called to. They’ve been a part of our lives and they see God’s call to us and they, with confidence, remind us of it again.

Amazing people.

People who are a mixed bag. A bit of fear for us, a bit of confidence in knowing it’s what we should do.

These are my people.

It’s where we are. We are a mixed bag regarding this move. We know that this is how God wants us to move forward but it’s not a faith that we come by easily. Please do not think that we are doing this without difficulty. There are days when the faith to move our family to Sierra Leone is the size of a mustard seed (Which, on a side note, my beautiful grandmother used to send me in her letters.. a baggie with mustard seeds, just to remind me of how little faith I need for God to use me.). But there hasn’t been a day when we’ve wondered if we should go. We just know that it will be hard.

Because we know we are weak.

But we also know that we are not alone. You guys are behind us. Encouraging us, praying for us, supporting us, crying and telling us how much you’ll miss us, rallying to love us well. It is an understatement to say we are ridiculously, off the charts, loved.

By parents. Family. Neighbors. Friends from college. People who carried me through the first 10 months of Brooklyn’s life. Friends from camp. Friends from my hometown. People literally around the world. People we are just meeting now.

We are ridiculously loved.

There really aren’t words for the ways you all have been family to us. Encouraging us, calling us out, spurring us on, sacrificing, always helping us move forward.

Thank you so very, very deeply.

Stocking Up!

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At the beginning of March I began to freak out. I realized that we only have 3 months until we begin the craziness of leaving. Now, we don’t actually leave until August but at the end of June we will start a 3 week training program and from them on in are constantly in and out of town, packing the house, getting rid of cars, getting rid of furniture, emptying our fridge, cleaning the place for renters, saying goodbye, celebrating Sam’s birthday, and generally going nuts. So it’s 3 months until the craziness begins. Which makes me freak out.

One of the ways I am dealing with the looming insanity is by stockpiling. Healthy? Who knows. Smart? Probably not, since I am actually trying to get rid of things. Helpful to my emotional state? Yup. So, onward.

Now please realize I’m not talking about stockpiling large things. I’m talking about things that I think we will want (because I really have NO IDEA what we will want) while in Sierra Leone. And I know everyone has their opinion about whether or not we should go all hard core and just bring the clothes on our back but hard core was for when I was in my twenties. I am firmly in my thirties now and LaraBars are coming with me.

So I need your input! Support a friend’s emotional state and give me some of your favorites! Leave me a comment sharing with me some of favorites: favorite books for me, favorite movies for adults, favorite tv series available on DVD, favorite family games and any other favorites you think I should bring! Bring it on, help me stockpile! 

Courage

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There’s been a lot of talk in some of my circles about the concept from Donald Miller’s book, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, of living a good story. And to be completely fair, I have not read his book. I am not sure exactly what he says about living a good story, I just know what my friends are talking about. They are being motivated to live for something bigger than themselves, to escape the mundane and live a good story, not one of just accumulating wealth and stuff to keep for themselves but rather a life that has impact and leaves an honorable legacy. Overall, it’s good stuff.

But to be honest it inspires me and leaves me uncomfortable. Because if you are wired like I am, you can hear a motivational idea like this and start making some crazy decisions because you want your life to matter. I am the type to jump out of airplanes, move across the country because the mountains are calling my name and go to South America with one month’s preparation. I am the type to think that courage has to roar.

But I think this blogger hit on something when she says, “Shouldn’t a Good Story be the result, not the motivator, of an epic life, a faith worth remembering?”

Because courage and faith do not always roar. Sometimes courage and faith show their faces during very long stretches quiet, struggling, whimpering even. But a good story is one in which you continue in faith.  One in which I continue in pursuing God, even when it’s harder and way less glamorous than I want it to be. One in which this woman learns to homeschool her kids because it’s best for them, even though it’s one of the hardest things she’ll ever do. One in which this woman stays with her husband when many would have left because she is committed to seeing growth and healing together. One in which a husband stays in a job to provide for his family rather than ditching it because it’s not his heart’s dream. Stories of not quitting, of relying on God, of choosing people over our own glory, of sacrifice in the mundane.

I wish I could get this sign to hang on my wall in Sierra Leone because I have a feeling I will need to remember this many days. The idea of moving across the world can seem awe inspiring but I know that the days there will hold a lot of difficulties. Boiling water (and boiling heat!) to make it drinkable , homeschooling kids, jet lag, loneliness (mine and my family’s), culture shock and cold showers. If I am doing this only because I am motivated to make something of my life, to live a good story, then I fear I will fall on my face and come home in pieces. Honestly it’s hard to know, on this side of it, if I am heading into this with a level head. I do know that I am trying the very best I can to be realistic about this move and to have pure motivations. To do this because God has woven it into my heart, not because I want my life to mean something. But I know that tension will always be there for me. I like the thrill of living life boldly and (dare I say it…) I like the admiration it brings. But when honestly asked I would rather live a life of deep faith than one of jumping off mountains. I want a life well lived to be the result of a life of faith, not the motivator for it.

How about you: Have you read this book and what are you thoughts? Are you the type that is easily motivated to jump off of mountains (like me) to live a grand story or are you more level headed? 

 

Motherhood… here or there

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This week I have seen more than one of my friends cry tears because they are afraid they are not measuring up as mothers. Grieving and struggling with guilt over their own failings. Wondering why they lost their cool so often, why they weren’t more patient, why they didn’t measure up in their own eyes.

I remember my own childhood as idyllic (thanks mom and dad). I don’t remember my parents loosing their cool. I don’t remember them fighting. I don’t remember them messing up. But now that I am a parent I realize that my mom can empathize with me, because she has been there.

Because, even though I didn’t notice it, she remembers the struggle. She remembers loosing her cool, loosing her patience and adding to her pile of “I wish I hadn’t done that”. In fact when I hear it from a parent’s viewpoint I realize that I missed a lot of what was going on!  But isn’t that evidence of the grace behind it all? I was there, and my parents didn’t have it all figured out, and it was idyllic.

Each day when I find myself struggling with my kids, wether it’s doing homework with one or lecturing my child that always needs to be entertained by someone, I think, “How am I ever going to do this in Sierra Loene?!” I reserve that thought for the hardest times. When things are hard here, I wonder how will I ever do it there?

Here’s the answer: The same way I am doing it now.

I will redirect, I will discipline, I will loose my cool and threaten more than I like. I will beg for God’s grace at the beginning and end of each day, that He will cover my mistakes and I will show my kids what it means to forgive and to love. Because life on life, growing-together love is messy and so very great at the same time.  I will try be the best parent I can, and I will endeavor to forgive myself (and ask my kids to forgive me) when I inevitably fall short.

And when I loose my perspective, I will rely on my friends and loved ones to remind me that I am the right parent for my kids. That I am not messing my kids up forever and that we are all figuring each stage of life out, as we walk through it.

My friends this week showed me what it means to rely on others. To reach out and ask for help, even when it’s hard to do so. They reminded me that even though we’re moving around the globe, we cannot do this in isolation. We need each other to remind us of the truth.

What about you… What are some of the things you most need as a parent? What are some of the ways you battle the lies that you are not enough?

 

 

 

 

It’s true…

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…we’re moving to Sierra Leone at the end of the summer! After a decade of wanting to move overseas to do anti-trafficking work it feels right to be moving in this direction.

Right, but still overwhelming.

Each day we have hours of work to do in order to make the move happen: figuring out homeschooling cirriculum, getting international insurance, sharing our vision with friends (that part is fun!), skyping with our boss to nail down job and program descriptions and finding water filters for our home. Phew. I need to go have a rest.

This will be a place for you to stay up to date on what’s going on with the Orranges and the project we’re joining in Sierra Leone.

The project.

That’s the really important stuff. Not these other details. The project is why we are going after all. We Orranges do love a good adventure, but usually the 1 day type of adventure, not the 3-4 year type. But this work is our motivation.

Healing, hope, restoration, life.

Beauty from ashes.

That is why we are going.