Growing up in a community where women were destined commodities of sex trade, Ria defied expectations from a very young age. Our three-part interview narrates her life-altering experiences and her journey towards freedom from a predetermined fate.
A battle she has fought bravely since she was merely a 12-years old child, continues even today.
Q. Can you tell us about your experiences with the law enforcement and justice system?
When I arrived in Mumbai, I reported to the police, eager to file a case against my parents and grandmother for their mistreatment. The inspector was dismissive, suggesting I reconsider my complaint. My family also, of course opposed the idea, with the Police officer shockingly siding with them, calling me useless and replaceable.
I remember, I was forced to stay at the police station all day. A female officer was verbally abusive during the statement-taking process, accusing me of willfully engaging in sex trade to earn money and making inappropriate remarks at my character. Despite their hostile behavior, they eventually recorded my statement. However, the FIR copy revealed a distorted version of my account, filled with fabricated details. It became clear that the police had tampered with my statement.
My experiences with the police were horrifying. They threatened my family, promised a life sentence for me, and even threatened to imprison Vikas for 10 years, who was my only support system. When I refused to alter my statement to protect Vikas, I felt dilemmatic, trapped and alone. My family pressured me into giving a specific statement, promising to release me if I complied. Fearing a worse fate in a children’s home, based on negative rumors, I agreed.
Post which, I was called for giving my statement before the Magistrate. I expected this statement to be recorded privately, as I now know is also required by the law. However, my family’s presence compromised this statement, preventing me from sharing the truth freely. The magistrate taking the statement seemed disinterested in my clarifications. Later, I realized the importance of this statement, but it was too late then.
While I was leaving the court, I begged my family to let me go. The police, my family members as well as their legal representatives surrounded me and started shaming me publicly, I was utterly humiliated. I kept crying but no one helped. I remember experiencing a panic attack that day.
I was told by the police that there was one last place where me and my family had to go to sign a document, where unexpectedly, I was informed by some individuals that I have the option to reside at a children’s home. Later I found out those individuals were Child Welfare Committee (CWC) members.
Q. Can you explain your interaction with the child protection system including the CWC?
I had lost all hope from the justice system due to past failures when I arrived at the CWC. However, witnessing the CWC members’ assertive approach towards the police gave me a reason to behold. Their conviction in handling the police case involving my family gave me a ray of hope.
The Police presented the FIR, detailing the case of my friend, Vikas sexually assaulting me. The CWC went through the documents in detail and accused the police of concealing information from them, particularly regarding my family’s involvement in sex trade. There was a heated argument that escalated between them and the police. They also interacted separately and privately with me. This resulted in the CWC to pass an order for me to stay in the children’s home. They also ordered the police to take proactive actions in the case. I was surprised that at least somebody from the system took my side.
The children’s home initially seemed temporary, but I eventually agreed to a month-long stay. My grandmother opposed this decision, expressing concerns about the facility. But I chose to stay in the Children’s Home instead of going back with my family. I later found out that my family members were under arrest for engaging me in the sex trade while my friend Vikas was arrested under a POCSO case.
Q. How was your experience of residing in a children’s home?
Initially relieved, but I faced indifference from other residents. I was overwhelmed and isolated, I spent months shedding tears all by myself. The children’s home’s lack of adequate facilities and poor conditions, particularly the food, led me to take up the cooking responsibilities for almost 20-25 children who were residing with me. Despite my efforts to engage with others and the limited rehabilitative measures provided there, I felt disconnected and hopeless.
After some days, I had a chance to tell the truth when a video-audio statement was recorded by the police in the children’s home, however, it was sabotaged by the officer’s pressure to repeat the previous false statement. Subsequent actions by the court uncovered discrepancies by the police, and a new investigating officer was appointed. I confided in him about my false statement, who promised help, but ultimately appeared to support his predecessor.
I stayed in the children’s home for eight months. The conditions there were so bad that I had thoughts of self-harm and escape. But I had struggled too much to give up. I clung to the hope of justice, waiting to see it served through legal means.
Q. Did you receive any counseling during this period? How did it help you?
I was introduced to the organization Prerana and its social workers as some people who would keep me informed about my court case. Counseling support provided to me from Prerana at the Children’s Home was a lifeline. I was masking emotional turmoil, and counseling visits gave me a certain amount of relief. I felt safe with the Counselor. I expressed every sheer detail about my past, including my relationship with Vikas, and it challenged my perspective, providing me with alternative viewpoints. After I saw how it benefited me, I wanted a similar process to take place with my family in the hope to transform my family’s outlook and perspective, fostering a happier home.
I started to picture professional success for myself and a harmonious family life where I would work at a higher post at an office and my mother would make me lunch. I gradually started taking more responsibilities within the children’s home from preparing good food to checking whether all required groceries were there and reporting to the children’s home authorities to procure the materials. Different NGOs involvement during COVID with vocational skills and life skills sessions helped me mature and develop valuable skills too.
At the same time, I was overwhelmed longing for a family, and my uncle was reachable, initially blaming me but later expressing my family’s yearning and promising to offer education support. He suggested interesting career paths, including becoming an air hostess, a prospect I momentarily entertained. I trusted him and requested the CWC for an early restoration.
Q. How did the choice of restoration to your uncle’s family turn out?
I requested the CWC to release me upon turning eighteen. A month before my eighteenth birthday, they offered me the choice of either staying at an aftercare facility or being restored to my uncle. To assist with my decision-making process, they provided a one-month trial stay at the aftercare facility, which I accepted. At the facility, I got enrolled in tenth grade but struggled with the self-study system, receiving minimal support from teachers who focused on other students. During the day, I made masks and silk scarves while studying at night.
Approaching my eighteenth birthday, I was produced before the CWC. Upon my decision, the CWC granted temporary custody to my uncle, while I hoped that finally there would be some relief. But he imposed restrictions and blamed me for family problems, accompanied by abuse. The promised educational support also proved to be false. Feeling trapped and unsupported, I returned into the aftercare facility soon. I completed my tenth grade education and sought employment assistance from the aftercare facility but was informed to wait for 3 years. Determined to not stall my progress, I eventually took the decision to leave the aftercare facility.
Q. Despite facing financial and health hurdles in the past, you have decided independent living over institutional care. Can you tell us why?
Deciding not to be in the aftercare facility beyond a point was a conscious choice. Although I was attached to those at the institution, I felt like I was locked. The confined environment felt eerily familiar, triggering painful memories of being locked in the room at home, being controlled by someone. I considered temporary shelter, but I knew I would start feeling trapped after a week or so, leading me to run away. I was also worried that my inability to adjust might jeopardize the chances of other women in need, as I might damage the trust of people at the institutions.
My experience of family was so different from how it is defined in an ideal world, causing me immense inner crisis. I had constant yearning for a sense of belonging, to entrust someone as my family. My journey led me down so many paths, including giving multiple chances to my birth family, living with Vikas, children’s homes, aftercare facilities, and my uncle’s family. At that point, all I craved was a safe space where I could breathe freely without feeling trapped or controlled.
After I turned 18, the age of adulthood, a question loomed: Was I, a child stepping into adulthood or an adult who was robbed of a joyful childhood? The dilemma consumed me.
To be continued…
Note: Any personally identifiable information has been modified to protect the individuals’ identities.
